Having a new baby is exciting but can also be filled with stress and anxiety. One of the sources of this stress might come from your mother-in-law – here are 10 of the most annoying things she might say when you have a baby. Learn how to handle them and ensure your special moment remains free from judgment and criticism.
Introduction
As the mother of your new baby, you’re likely already feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted. And then there’s your mother-in-law. She may be well-meaning but can also be a bit overwhelming, especially regarding unsolicited parenting advice.
Here are some of the most annoying things your mother-in-law may say when you have a baby:
“You’re doing it all wrong.”
“I raised three kids and I know what I’m talking about.”
“Are you sure you’re supposed to be holding the baby like that?”
“You should really be doing (insert whatever it is she would do differently here).”
“I don’t know how you’re going to survive on so little sleep.”
Or my personal favorite: “It’s all worth it in the end.”
Annoying Advice about Parenting
We all know the saying, “mother knows best.” Sometimes, your mother-in-law may think she knows better than you when parenting your child. Here are some annoyingly common pieces of advice that MILs like to share:
“You’re holding him wrong.”
“He’s hungry, you should feed him now.”
“co-sleeping is bad for the baby.”
“Why are you using disposable diapers? cloth is so much better for the environment.”
“You shouldn’t use pacifiers; they’ll ruin his teeth.”
“Babies shouldn’t watch TV, it’s bad for their development.”
“You’re not going to breastfeed? Why not?”
“Don’t give her processed food, it’s full of chemicals.”
“Don’t let her cry it out, she’ll never learn to self-soothe.”
Criticisms about Your Decisions
There are a few criticisms your mother-in-law may say when you have a baby. Here are a few of them:
1. You need to do things the right way.
2. You need to follow the advice of the experts.
3. You’re not listening to me. I know what’s best for you.
4. You’re making a mistake.
5. I told you so.
Unsolicited Opinions about Your Baby’s Name
When you have a baby, you will likely get unsolicited opinions about your baby’s name from your mother-in-law. She may disapprove of the name you have chosen and may try to convince you to change it.
She may also tell you what she thinks the meaning of your baby’s name is. It can be unpleasant to hear whether her opinion is positive or negative. If you don’t want to listen to her opinion, say that you appreciate her input but have already decided on a name.
Comparing Your Baby to Other Babies
When you have a baby, your mother-in-law may say things that compare your baby to other babies. She may say that your baby is smaller or larger than other babies or that your baby is not developing as quickly as other babies.
This can be unpleasant because it can make you feel like you are not doing an excellent job as a parent. If you feel like your mother-in-law is constantly comparing your baby to other babies, it may be helpful to talk to her about it. Explain that you appreciate her concern but would prefer if she didn’t compare your baby to other babies.
Questions About Your Relationship:
1. How long have you been together?
2. What are your plans for the future?
3. Do you think you’ll ever get married?
4. What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Making Jokes at Your Expense
When you have a baby, your mother-in-law may say things that are meant to be funny but come across as irritating. For example, she may ask how much weight you’ve gained or comment on how much your body has changed. She may also joke about how you’re sleep-deprived or dealing with diaper duty.
While her intentions may be good, these comments can be annoying and even hurtful. It’s important to remember that your mother-in-law is likely just trying to bond with you and the baby. If her jokes are getting on your nerves, try to brush them off with a smile and change the subject.
Unwanted Gifts
If you’ve just had a baby, chances are you’re getting a lot of unsolicited advice from your mother-in-law. And while some of it may be helpful, there’s bound to be some that are just plain annoying. Here are a few things your mother-in-law may say that will get under your skin:
“You should be doing X, Y, and Z with the baby.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little too lenient/strict with him/her?”
“I raised three kids and I never did that.”
“Are you sure you’re doing that right?”
“Let me hold the baby for a minute so you can take a break.” (Said when you’re not even close to being ready to hand over the baby.)
Taking Credit for Things, You Did
New parents naturally want to show off their bundle of joy to friends and family. But it can be frustrating when your mother-in-law starts taking credit for things you did.
For example, she may say she was the one who taught you how to change a diaper or that she was the one who showed you how to swaddle a baby. While it’s nice that she wants to help, it can be unpleasant when she takes credit for things you did on your own.
If your mother-in-law is constantly taking credit for your accomplishments, talk with her and explain that it’s essential for you to feel like you’re doing things on your own. Thank her for her help, but let her know that you’d appreciate it if she let you take the credit this time.
Constant Interruptions
Like most new moms, you’re probably already feeling overwhelmed with the constant interruptions of feedings, diaper changes, and general baby care. And then there’s your mother-in-law. While she may mean well, she can often add to the stress of new motherhood with her unsolicited advice and commentary.
Here are some of the annoying things your mother-in-law may say when you have a baby:
“You’re doing it all wrong.”
“That’s not how I did it with your husband/wife.”
“Are you sure you’re supposed to be holding the baby like that?”
“I think the baby needs to be burped/changed/fed.”
“Let me take over for a while so you can get some rest.”
“Why don’t you just let me watch the baby while you take a nap?”
“You’re not going to wear that out in public, are you?”
“Did you remember to put sunscreen on the baby?”
“Babies shouldn’t be in direct sunlight.”
“I think the Baby’s room is too hot/cold.”
Conclusion
All mothers-in-law have their way of expressing themselves, which can often annoy the new parents. We hope that by being aware of some of these everyday things your mother-in-law may say when you are expecting a baby, you will be able to respond with grace and understanding.
Remember that no matter what she says or does, it is ultimately up to you how you choose to handle it. Showing respect for each other’s opinions can help ensure a healthy relationship between you during this particular time in your life.
